Outspoken bassist Nitewolf of intergalactic rock n' roll saviors Valient Thorr
has announced that he'd like to teach Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich a thing or
two, with a bold call-to-arms that is causing a ripple of gasps, raised eyebrows
and "oh-no-he-didn'ts" from astonished fans, fellow musicians and concerned
parents around nitewolfthe world.
"That guy goes around always thinking he's the best," says Nitewolf of the
legendary metal percussionist from one of the biggest-selling acts of all time.
"I think it's time somebody showed Lars who's boss, and I'm just the man to
defeat him, in public, with my superior skills. As soon as I'm done cleaning the
floor with his weak game, I'm taking on that other punk, Elton John."
Ulrich himself has offered no comment thus far***, with the Metallica camp
strangely silent on the matter****. Music industry insiders note that odds
may indeed be in Nitewolf's favor, as the Valient Thorr bassist and
artist-in-residence was raised by a "professional" (earth) father, who mentored
him in war-like arts of strategy, cunning
has announced that he'd like to teach Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich a thing or
two, with a bold call-to-arms that is causing a ripple of gasps, raised eyebrows
and "oh-no-he-didn'ts" from astonished fans, fellow musicians and concerned
parents around nitewolfthe world.
"That guy goes around always thinking he's the best," says Nitewolf of the
legendary metal percussionist from one of the biggest-selling acts of all time.
"I think it's time somebody showed Lars who's boss, and I'm just the man to
defeat him, in public, with my superior skills. As soon as I'm done cleaning the
floor with his weak game, I'm taking on that other punk, Elton John."
Ulrich himself has offered no comment thus far***, with the Metallica camp
strangely silent on the matter****. Music industry insiders note that odds
may indeed be in Nitewolf's favor, as the Valient Thorr bassist and
artist-in-residence was raised by a "professional" (earth) father, who mentored
him in war-like arts of strategy, cunning
| NITEWOLF OF INTERSTELLAR ROCK BAND VALIENT THORR CALLS OUT METALLICA'S LARS ULRICH FOR A TOTAL ASS-WHOOPING SMACKDOWN * * * * * * Badass Bassist with a Big Beard and Cooler Dad Claims He Will Cut the Drummer Down to Size before Taking on Elton John ** |
and weaponry ***** -- plus Nitewolf's long, lustrous beard is a indicator of extreme testosterone production. Parties interested in
sponsoring the match are encouraged to contact Nitewolf's representatives at the information below.
These daring comments arrive just as Valient Thorr are attempting to improve their image with the June 17 release of their latest Volcom
Entertainment masterpiece, IMMORTALIZER, and subsequent 31-date, cross-country U.S. tour with fellow rockers Early Man -- as well as
additional opening acts Architects, Kandi Coded, Monotonix, Skeletonwitch and Toxic Holocaust on select dates - that launches on July 9
in Sparks, NV. Nitewolf's outburst is also in surprising contrast with saint-like bandmate/frontman Valient Himself, who recently
underwent transplant surgery to donate a kidney to his ailing father. Immediately after his speedy recovery, the band played in front of
hundreds of thousands of rabid fans at the UK's Download Festival , club shows in the UK and Germany, and Belgium's Graspop Festival
in anticipation of the U.S. tour.
IMMORTALIZER was recorded in Seattle with veteran producer Jack Endino (Nirvana, Soundgarden, Hot Hot Heat), who helped
Valient Thorr shape their signature sound with a mix of punk-fueled energy, heavyweight grooves and classic rock swagger. Previous
albums such as the band's self-released 2003 debut Stranded on Earth, their 2005 Volcom debut Total Universe Man, and 2006 follow-up
Legend of the World tackled the world's problems straight on with a blunt, in-your-face attack on the Bush Administration, war in the
Middle East and capitalism run amok. Since hitting the road full-time, Valient Thorr has enjoyed successive, high-profile stints on the
Vans Warped Tour in 2005 and 2006, and has toured incessantly with such varied acts as Joan Jett and the Black Hearts, Eagles of Death
Metal, Gogol Bordello, Fu Manchu and Motörhead.
* Please note: by "ass-whooping smackdown," Nitewolf is referring to "tennis match," preferably for charitable benefits.
** In a gentlemanly sport involving a tiny, fuzzy yellow ball before a polite group of well-behaved spectators.
*** And hasn't even been contacted.
**** Ditto.
***** Use of "weaponry" limited to include tennis racquets only. [PRESS RELEASE SCOOP MARKETING]
sponsoring the match are encouraged to contact Nitewolf's representatives at the information below.
These daring comments arrive just as Valient Thorr are attempting to improve their image with the June 17 release of their latest Volcom
Entertainment masterpiece, IMMORTALIZER, and subsequent 31-date, cross-country U.S. tour with fellow rockers Early Man -- as well as
additional opening acts Architects, Kandi Coded, Monotonix, Skeletonwitch and Toxic Holocaust on select dates - that launches on July 9
in Sparks, NV. Nitewolf's outburst is also in surprising contrast with saint-like bandmate/frontman Valient Himself, who recently
underwent transplant surgery to donate a kidney to his ailing father. Immediately after his speedy recovery, the band played in front of
hundreds of thousands of rabid fans at the UK's Download Festival , club shows in the UK and Germany, and Belgium's Graspop Festival
in anticipation of the U.S. tour.
IMMORTALIZER was recorded in Seattle with veteran producer Jack Endino (Nirvana, Soundgarden, Hot Hot Heat), who helped
Valient Thorr shape their signature sound with a mix of punk-fueled energy, heavyweight grooves and classic rock swagger. Previous
albums such as the band's self-released 2003 debut Stranded on Earth, their 2005 Volcom debut Total Universe Man, and 2006 follow-up
Legend of the World tackled the world's problems straight on with a blunt, in-your-face attack on the Bush Administration, war in the
Middle East and capitalism run amok. Since hitting the road full-time, Valient Thorr has enjoyed successive, high-profile stints on the
Vans Warped Tour in 2005 and 2006, and has toured incessantly with such varied acts as Joan Jett and the Black Hearts, Eagles of Death
Metal, Gogol Bordello, Fu Manchu and Motörhead.
* Please note: by "ass-whooping smackdown," Nitewolf is referring to "tennis match," preferably for charitable benefits.
** In a gentlemanly sport involving a tiny, fuzzy yellow ball before a polite group of well-behaved spectators.
*** And hasn't even been contacted.
**** Ditto.
***** Use of "weaponry" limited to include tennis racquets only. [PRESS RELEASE SCOOP MARKETING]
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